Overwhelmed By Love

For most of my life I have always dealt with loneliness and simply suffered tirelessly as I was overwhelmed by my own emotions. Typically when one feels lonely and unloved they will search for something to fill that hole in their heart. As a Christian, I have been taught my whole life that I should be filling the hole in my heart with Jesus instead of anything else. Let me tell you from experience that it's one thing to say those words, but to actually live it out is an entirely different story.

Growing up, I was always that girl that found their identity in people.  I would desire to be filled up with their "love" and the attention that they gave me, especially from the boys. It was so easy to just gravitate to someone who could and would love me that I could actually SEE, and honestly, it was the natural thing to do. It's entirely unnatural to chase after God and to be filled with a love unseen. And let's get real, it can be hard to believe that God could actually fill you more than what you've ever felt before from another human being.

A few months ago I had something happen in my life that left me feeling lonely and my heart shattered.  It has only been through God's mercy and grace that I am where I am today. I have been encouraged and strengthened by some of the greatest friends and mentors that God has placed in my life as well as through the time I have spent with Him. The peace and contentment I feel now can be overwhelming and I love every minute of it. I am daily blessed beyond measure and thank God for where He has brought me through it all. It is a miracle that God has brought my heart to where it is today.

Despite the wonderful and amazing things God has been doing in my heart and in my life, things aren't perfect as one is to expect.  A few days ago I felt a flood of loneliness and dismay that I haven't felt in quite some time. Instead of falling into old habits I chose to cry out to God unlike I ever have before.  I told him about how I felt hurt and lonely.  I literally repeated over and over again that I just wanted to be held and loved.  I was desperate for some sort of relief and it was in that moment that I felt a flood of love overwhelm me from the inside out.  It was then that I felt whole and complete like I never have before.

Never in my life have I felt so overwhelmed by the love of God than I did that night when I decided to cry out to Him instead of sitting around feeling bad for myself.  If you have never taken the time to do so, I want to encourage you to cry out to Him today.  It's so worth it to be filled up by your creator and to be held and loved on by the only one who can truly satisfy.  Instead of running to something that will only fill you up for a moment, try it out for yourself and be overwhelmed by His love.  From experience, it truly is the best thing in the world.

"For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority" -Colossians 2:9-10

"But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness" -Psalm 86:15

"Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you" -Psalm 63:3