I'm beginning to find that one of the hardest things to do with my approaching graduation is to actually face head on all of the hurt and bitterness caused by those I had called friends for 3 years. Their judgmental attitudes, the way they talked behind my back, the way they made up things in their head and gossiped about me, and the way that they wouldn't come talk to me about anything first hand (they went to my roommate for information) all drove pain to my core. I forgot to mention, this is a Christian campus organization. They have no idea how much they have hurt me, and probably never will. The sad thing is, even if they knew they would tell me I was wrong for it.
Leaving the area makes me want to go on a good note and to not take any baggage with me. I would like to sit down with every single one of them and tell them exactly how they made me feel, but that's just not practical. Even though I can't close the door and move on with any of them personally and try to make amends, I do have got someone who can do it for me. His name is Jesus and this is what He says in his word.
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" -Ephesian 4:32
"And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sin" -Mark 11:25
"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" -Colossians 3:13
Although it's hard and although I'm hurting I'm tired of feeling that way. The Lord calls me to forgive those who have hurt me, whether they ask for it or not, and whether they know it or not. I will graduate and move away next weekend from these people and I go away in peace and leave nothing left unsettled in my heart.
Dear precious sons and daughters of God,
I am sorry I have been harboring anger, bitterness and hurt against you. I have come to realize that even though you hurt me, it's not fair to continue holding it all against you. Jesus died on the cross and forgave me of everything I did for him, and he calls me to offer up that same forgiveness to others. I choose to forgive you even though you haven't asked for it. I hope you can forgive me too, for harboring all those things against you, because that isn't what a Christian should do.
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